Sunday, July 25, 2010

Broken Heart

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.
I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
(Psalm 9:1-2)

Yesterday was a rough day.  All I wanted to do was cry, so for most of the day I just let the tears come.  The day started with sad thoughts but I kept the tears in.  Then Brian and I were doing some errands and as we were walking into Home Depot I almost started to cry again but I managed to keep the tears at bay.  Next stop was Kohl's.  I saw a great spot but Brian thought he saw a better one...and of course it happened to be an expectant mother's spot...well that brought the tears.  There was no holding back.  I managed to get through the rest of our errands but the sadness never went away.  We stopped by my parents in the evening...more tears.  Brian and I watched a movie at night (not sad by any means) but right when the movie was finished...more tears.  Why was my laughter traded in for tears O Lord? 

Lately my thoughts keep drifting to two beautiful (blonde and brown haired) little girls who would one day be running around our house changing our lives.  The vision makes me teary-eyed.  But those two little angels will never run around our house.  My heart constantly aches.  And word cannot even begin to express the immense sadness I feel...

But my God is a faithful God who is always by my side.  It breaks His heart to see my hurting heart.  So He will carry me through even when I am too weak because he love me so much!

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.  What, then, shall we say in response to this?  If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?  It is God who justifies.  Who is he that condemns?  Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:  "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 8:28-39)

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