Friday, July 23, 2010

Morning Aches

I woke up this morning with that sick feeling in my stomach again.  I miss my girls the most when I first wake up in the mornings.  I wonder when and if this feeling will ever go away.  I've been told it will but when your in the midst of grieving it feels like it never will.  Last night Brian and I were once again reminded that God has not forgotten us nor have our prayers gone unanswered...

The Lord has an inconceivably glorious purpose for each of His children.  "If this is true," you ask, "why is it that He continues to wait longer and longer to offer His grace and to provide the help I seek, even after I have come and waited on Him?"  He does so because He is a wise gardener who "waits for the land to yield its valuable crop" and is "patient...for the autumn and spring rains" (James 5:7).  God knows He cannot gather the fruit until it is ripe, and He knows precisely when we are spiritually ready to receive blessings for our gain and His glory.  And waiting in the sunshine of His love is what will ripen our soul for His blessings.  Also, waiting under the clouds of trials is as important, for they will ultimately produce showers of blessings.  Rest assured that if God waits longer than we desire, it is simply to make the blessings doubly precious.  Remember, He waited four thousand years, "but when the time had fully come, God sent his Son" (Gal 4:4).  Our time is in His hands, and He will quickly avenge those He has chosen, swiftly coming to our support without ever delaying even one hour too long. (Streams in the Desert)

Of course I read this and many questions still surface.  Such as, we waited months to get pregnant, finally got pregnant through IVF...so wasn't that our waiting period...weren't our twins our double blessing? When does God think Brian and I will be ready to receive our blessing(s)?  How does God determine who has to wait and why do Brian and I have to wait even longer.  We were ready to welcome our little girls into every aspect of our lives.  We were SO excited to be a family of four.  I constantly pray that I will just trust in God's plan for our lives and leave it at that...easier said than done since this brain of mine NEVER shuts down (except when I sleep)...

But as always my day did get better.  I spent the whole day at my sisters...swimming in her pool and enjoying the sun!  First with my mom, sister, all three of my nieces and one of my nephews.  Then Cambrey got her wish and Uncle Brian came to swim after work.  And even later Papa Duke (and grandma came again)!

4 reasons to smile...


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