Monday, August 16, 2010

Change

Yesterday marked two months since the beginning of this new journey.  There are many dates that stand out as reminders to me every month and I am assuming they will for the rest of my life.  Every time the 15th rolls around I think about the day our world came collapsing down.  When the 24th or 30th roll around I think about the day each of our girls were born.  And on the 7th of every month I think about the day they were buried. 

I had a semi rough day yesterday.  I held the tears in (for the most part) but reminders of the girls were everywhere.  And now all I want to do is think about them.  Which just makes me sad and I don't want to be sad all day today too.  I was sad enough yesterday.  Please pray that I will continue to trust in my faithful Savior.  Trust that His plan (this trial) will ultimately shower me with an abundance of  blessings.  And pray that every day because I am too weak I cling to Him who upholds me with His right hand.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Heaven's message for you is clear: when everything else changes, God's presence never does.  You journey in the company of the Holy Spirit, who "will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you" (John 14:26 NLT)  So make friends with whatever's next.  Embrace it. Accept it.  Don't resist it.  Change is not only a part of life; change is a necessary part of God's strategy.  To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments... (Max Lucado)

These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing" (2 Cor. 4:17 CEV)

There is a reason God changed my assignment.  My initial assignment was to deliver two healthy baby girls in October but instead God reassigned me to deliver two beautiful baby girls in June.  For some reason God needed two more angels.  Why were my girls the chosen ones?  I have no answer besides; God must have thought they were pretty special!  I could be angry at God for this change in assignment.  Turn away from Him.  Question how could He take away the babies I had fought and PRAYED so hard for.  But I trust Him.  I know His promises.  He will not fail me.  And even in my sadness I know He is near!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Lindsey. You are such an inspiration to me. I really love reading your words. Alayna and Ella are so lucky to have a mommy like you! Thinking and praying for all of you! xoxo

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