Sunday, August 1, 2010

Praising Him in This Storm

Every single day I miss my girls.  They are on my mind all the time.  How will I feel in October when they were suppose to arrive?  How will I feel on November 4 (their due date)?  How will I feel on Christmas Eve when Alayna and Ella should have made grand babies 6 and 7 getting their picture around my parent's Christmas tree?  How will I feel on June 15, June 24, June 30, and on July 7, 2011?  How will I feel when I am pregnant again?  When I hear stories of all the new and healthy babies being born, my heart aches all that much more.  Why do they get to be happy, while I am so sad?  So many questions with no answers...

Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns
 
I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and

Chorus

Last night we went out for dinner with some good friends.  And after my horrible day, it felt good to talk with them about the girls.  And then to just talk about other things happening in our worlds.  This morning we went to church and I was once again reminded that life could be worse.  During a prayer request time we learned about a young mother who was just diagnosed with 6 brain tumors and was given less than a year to live (she has 3 little children) and we learned about a young father who died this week at the age of 37 (he left behind 2 small children and his beloved wife).  I NEED to remind myself that I have Brian and he has me...we are healthy and whole (for the most part).  Praise God!  And now tonight we are doing our annual devotions and fishing time at his parent's house (they live on a lake).  It is a time I truly look forward to.  Being out in God's creation and reading his word (my hubby does the fishing and I do the reading)!  Tomorrow I get to go to work again...ugh.  So I ask for your prayers that each day continues to get easier.  And that when patients (or their parents) ask if I have any children, I know how to respond with no hesitation..."Yes I am the mother of two beautiful angel babies waiting for me in Heaven." 

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  Revelation 21:4

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