Friday, September 24, 2010

Who You'd Be Today

My sweet sweet angel Alayna Joy.  Today you would have been 3 months old.  I still cannot believe that 3 months have passed since I last held you and sent you into Jesus' waiting arms.  I cry as I write because I miss you so much today.  I am having a bad day.  But I suppose it was time since I can't remember my last bad day.  I have had bad moments in days but not a bad day for a long time which I am oh so thankful for.  I am sad and my heart hurts.  In my perfect world you would still be fighting with Ella for room in this momma's belly.  You would still be fighting for 3 more glorious weeks.  And then you would have made your grand entrance into this world and into this momma's waiting arms.  And what an entrance that would have been... 

But your entrance was something different.  I remember the moment I first laid eyes on you.  I was scared to look (at first) because I had no idea what to expect.  But you were beautiful.   Oh you were so beautiful.  You were so very little but so very perfect.  I saw your little heart just a-beating and I fell in love.  I look at your ultrasound picture in my Bible every night and I wonder who you'd be today...

Who You'd Be Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy
Today, Today, Today
Today, Today, Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

Someday, Someday

If Tears Could Build A Stairway

If tears could build a stairway
And thoughts a memory lane
I’d walk right up to heaven
And bring you home again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say "Good-bye"
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.

Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you’ll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hallowed place within my heart
Is where you’ll always stay.

God knows why, with chilling touch,
Death gathers those we love so much,
And what now seems so strange and dim,
Will all be clear, when we meet Him.

I knew you for a Moment

(author unknown)

Love you Alayna Bug!

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised" (Job 1:21)


  1. Hugs my friend xoxo. Remembering your beautiful girls.

  2. Sweet little Alayna. Precious in every way, waiting for her mommy and daddy in Heaven.