I am so thankful that He has sustained me through these last 5 plus months. Without Him I would have crumbled to pieces and would have given up on life all together. Because the pain of losing a child is almost more than a simple human can bear. But He has upheld me with His righteous right hand just as He promised in Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I am also thankful for my family. Where would we be without the support of our family? They have been there for us on our darkest days...when it seemed like the cloud would never lift. My mom and sister have answered the phone many of times only to hear me bawling on the other end. They have listened to me and they have cried with me. I will never forget June 26. It was a Saturday morning and the doctor and her posse came in (which I knew was not going to be a good thing) to tell me that my labs were getting much worse. And that we needed to start thinking about inducing. All I could do was cry and cry and cry...heartbreaking sobs as Brian and my mom held me. Here I was fighting for my sweet baby and they were telling me she didn't have a chance. I fought for 4 more days before they told me I no longer had a choice...my life was now in jeopardy. And you know what I almost didn't care...that is how sad I was. But here we are 5 months later still living life (the best we can) and praying for our Rainbow baby to happen in the good Lord's perfect timing.
I am thankful for my new and old friends. To Kami, Erin, and Andrea I am blessed to be connected to the 3 of you through the loss of our angel babies. One of the few good things to come out of such heartbreak. You guys are the absolute BEST. You have given me encouragement on my darkest days and you are walking this road with me...and I THANK YOU for that! I am soooo excited for baby U to arrive next spring!!! And praying everyday for baby A, baby P (and baby H)!!!
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
To Karie, Lacey, Amy, and Krista I am blessed to call you my friends. Thank you for the never ending emails, phone calls, and cards of encouragement, for the care packages, and meals. You have listened to me on my best and worst days...you have sat there with me silently while I cried. Today I am thanking God for each one of you.
"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."
To my coworker friends (who are way more than just coworkers)...Kara, Melissa, Jen K and Marne (my IVF buddies), Jen K (my cuz), Tammy, J Lo, Amy, Angela, Kate D, and Sarah thank you for always listening to me. For wanting to hear my story and for the constant encouragement. I heart you guys so much and I am so blessed to work with each and every one of you. And to Gretchen my manager, and Liz and Jen my supervisors...I cannot thank you enough for constantly rearranging my work schedule around all my fertility appointments. I am so thankful to have management that is so understanding and supportive and most importantly a team who prays for me!!!
I am thankful for my church family and my Pastor and his wonderful wife. I am blessed to live in a community of believers. I am blessed by the new friendships I have made at Sunrise. I am blessed to have a pastor who calls to check in on us frequently. I am blessed that Linda (pastor's wife) sends me encouraging cards and invites us over for dinner. I am blessed to be part of the Young Ladies Beth Moore Bible Study. Simply put Sunrise has enriched my life tremendously and for this I am very thankful.
I am thankful for my Bible. The freedom I have to read it whenever I choose. I am thankful for the stories I read in the Bible that remind me that others have felt my pain (that we are not alone). The latest story being from 2 Kings 4...
One day Elisha came, he went up to his room and lay down there. He said to his servant Gehazi, "Call the Shunammite." So he called her, and she stood before him. Elisha said to him, "Tell her, 'You have gone to all this trouble for us. Now what can be done for you? Can we speak on your behalf to the king or commander of the army?'" She replied, "I have a home among my own people." "What can be done for her?" Elisha asked. Gehazi said, "Well, she has no son and her husband is old." Then Elisha said, "Call her." So he called her, and she stood in the doorway. "About this time next year," Elisha said, "you will hold a son in your arms." "No, my lord," she objected. "Don't mislead your servant, O man of God!" But the woman became pregnant, and the next year about that same time she gave birth to a son, just as Elisha had told her. The child grew, and one day he went out to his father, who was with the reapers. "My head! My head!" he said to his father. His father told a servant, "Carry him to his mother." After the servant had lifted him up and carried him to his mother, the boy sat on her lap until noon, and then he died....When she reached the man of God at the mountain, she took hold of his feet. Gehazi came over to push her away, but the man of God said, "Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the Lord has hidden it from me and has not told me why." "Did I ask you for a son, my lord?" she said. "Didn't I tell you, 'Don't raise my hopes'?"....Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out upon him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes. Elisha summoned Gehazi and said, "Call the Shunammite." And he did. When she came, he said, "Take your son." She came in, fell at his feet and bowed to the ground. Then she took her son and went out.
Truly there is much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Day. Our health. Our jobs. Our home. Our marriage. The feast we are about to eat (thanks mom and dad)! And the list could go on and on. But above all else I am thankful that my girls are celebrating their first Thanksgiving with Jesus.
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18