Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Journey: Weeks 8 and 9

May 22
How Far Along: 8 weeks.

Size of Baby: Our little bug-a-boo is on average 0.63 inches and 0.04 oz. Or for comparisons sake...the size of a kidney bean or a raspberry.

Picture of Baby: Sorry picture this week.

8 weeks: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from our bug-a-boo's hands and feet, his/her eyelids practically cover his/her eyes, breathing tubes extend from his/her throat to the branches of his/her developing lungs, and his/her "tail" is just about gone. In bug-a-boo's brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. I may be daydreaming about baby bug as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether I'm having a boy or a girl. (Information taken from

Weight Gain: Didn't weigh myself this week.

a lovely (or not) Sunday afternoon picture :)

Sleep: I am so so so so (cannot expand enough) tired. I thought I was gonna die when I got home on Friday (after working my 12 plus hour shift) because I was so so so so tired. Only 4 more weeks until I go to three 8 hour shifts. I can do it!!!

Symptoms: Still tired and hungry. And I've been nauseous and gaggy yet too. But today marks the first day that I actually threw up. I had been complaining to Brian all morning that I felt off (really nauseous). But normally if I eat something I feel a little better so Brian made me a fantastic breakfast of egg and sausage. Of course a few minutes after eating it all came right back up. And to make things worse I threw up in the kitchen sink (and not in the garbage disposal side) I had to clean out all the nasty chunks with my own hands...just lovely!

Food Cravings: Sausage.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My next ultrasound on May 31 with Dr. Jelsema (my high risk doctor)!!!

Emotions: Still taking it day by day.

May 26
Where to begin. I am back to being anxious and that is putting it oh SO very mildly. I started having nightmares Tuesday night...that something was wrong with this pregnancy and that the baby didn't have a heartbeat anymore. And to make it worse heart palpitations started the same night. Oh my goodness it felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. It scared the dickens out of me. So as you can imagine all my thoughts yesterday were anxious/bad thoughts concerning our beloved and so so so wanted baby. And the thoughts were all consuming (more all consuming than normal).

And then two things clicked. First today I am 8 weeks and 4 days and this is right when Luke died (and obviously at the time I didn't know that anything was wrong). And my next ultrasound is this coming Tuesday at 9 weeks and 2 days. And the appointment where we found out that Luke had died was at 9 weeks 1 day. So I'm thinking that I'm so anxious because of this time frame. So you can believe I'm praying we don't have a repeat and that this sweet baby is alive and well in my womb.

The second thing that I felt led to the nightmares and heart palpitations was something that occurred at work this week. On Monday I accidentally poked myself with a needle when deaccessing a patients PORT. I was so frustrated and frazzled and it was the end of my shift so I didn't fill out the proper paper work that you are suppose to fill out when exposed to a patient's blood. I had gloves on and when I took them off I didn't see any blood (I could only see the spot where I had poked myself) and the needle didn't have any visible blood so I just put the incident out of my mind...until Wednesday that is. Then today I talked to one of my supervisors and she told me that I should and would feel so much better if I filled out the proper paper work and had the patient's blood tested. Thankfully under our general consent form we don't have to tell the patient why we're drawing blood so this morning I had the patient tested and was so very thankful when it came back negative for HIV. Now I just have to wait for the Hep B and C results (they should be back early next week).

May 28      
The anxiety is getting a little bit better. But what I didn't mention on Thursday was that I completely lost my appetite for a few days because I was so anxious. When anxious and/or stressed I stop eating. And because I stopped eating I wasn't as bloated. And hunger and bloated belly are my two major pregnancy signs. So this of course also played a factor into why I thought something bad had happened to our little bug. Another thing I failed to mention was that I called my RE's office on Thursday to see if they could squeeze me in for a quick ultrasound. Unfortunately (being the holiday weekend and all) my doctor was already double booked and his partner was out of the office for the weekend. Memo to self...NEVER AGAIN say you can go two weeks without an ultrasound.

But my anxiety took the turn for the better (this afternoon) after a conversation with my mom and it also helped that my appetite has returned some.

May 29 (Happy Memorial Day Weekend)
How Far Along: 9 weeks.

Size of Baby: Our bug-a-boo is on average 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches and 0.07 oz. Or for comparisons sake...the size of a grape or green olive.

Picture of Baby:
9 weeks 2 days

9 weeks: Our little bugger is starting to look more and more human. His/her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Our baby's heart will finish dividing into four chambers, and his/her valves are starting to form-as are the bugger's tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. And our baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Our bug's eyes are fully formed, but his/her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. Our bug also has tiny earlobes, and his/her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. (Information taken from

Weight Gain: Down a pound from the original starting point.

Belly: No picture this week. Just didn't get around to it.

Sleep: Waking up at least 2 times a night to pee. I don't need naps like I did with the girls but I still like going to bed at a decent time. But I'm hating 12 hour shifts...I am so tired at the end of the day that I can hardly make the walk to my car.

Symptoms: Tired, hungry, and retching quite a bit. I can no longer take my prenatal vitamin in the morning because I'm too nauseous. I've thrown up too many pills so I'm thankful that they're free. I can barely take the pill at night but I'm managing.

Food Cravings: Fruit.

What I'm Looking Forward to: My ultrasound on Tuesday!

Milestones: Haven't had a complete mental breakdown...yet...

Emotions: My emotions are ALL over the place. But on Saturday I finally realized that I cannot will God to do anything so this is the silent prayer I prayed. "Not my will but yours O Lord. But I am choosing to believe that I WILL meet this child in December. Amen."

May 30
Found out today that the rest of the blood results came back. And they came back negative for Hep B and C. Praise the Lord!!! So glad I tested so I can put the whole incident behind me and move forward with no more worries.

May 31
Another perfect ultrasound. Praise the Lord!!!  (And it was my first NON trans-vag which gave me even more reason to be happy). Baby Helmholdt's heartbeat was 171 and he/she was measuring right at 9 weeks and 2 days. We went over the plan with Dr. J and left feeling very confident. I will have weekly appointments (to help with my anxiety). If weekly appointments do not help then I will be going on an anti-anxiety medication. For the next 2 weeks my appointments get to be ultrasounds (yea!!!) and then 2 weeks of just the Doppler. Starting at 14 weeks I will have cervical checks until week 24. I will also start antibiotic treatment at week 14. My doctor said he considers me low risk but realizes that I consider myself high risk so I get to dictate this pregnancy...meaning I'm in complete control. He said he will see me as often as I need to make this pregnancy as stress free as possible. I am so thankful to be in such wonderful hands. But you want to know what I love best about him...he closes every appointment with prayer!!! He also asked today if we wanted any downs/chromosomal testing (by law they have to ask) but we wouldn't change a thing cause we would NEVER abort this precious life. He said he assumed but that he has to ask. He also said that with IVF babies they like to do an echo-cardiogram between 24 and 28 weeks because studies have shown a 1%  increase of heart issues. I'm not worried about it though cause this precious life is 100% completely in my Fathers hands!!! And I think that about wraps it all up. Sweet dreams will be happening for me tonight!!!

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God promised to those who love him. James 1:12

1 comment:

  1. One day, one week at a time. You are doing awesome Lindsey! Your bug is going to meet you in December.