Death is an inevitable part of life. Every death hurts. Seldom does one occur without pain and unhappiness, without changing our lives. It is not wise to compare one death to another or to rank losses on a scale of which is more difficult. For one thing, each loss is different. No one knows how a death will affect the survivors. The death of a brother may be more devastating to one person than the death of a mother is to another. Grief is hard. We should avoid comparisons. There is one exception to that rule: the death of one's child is in a league by itself.
...I regret that I didn't realize years earlier the enormity of the death of someone’s child. I saw so much more clearly that those deaths were much more tragic than I had previously realized. I am deeply apologetic for my lack of sympathy and empathy.
The death of a child is so wrong. Children are not supposed to predecease their parents. They are supposed to grow up, enjoy life, laugh, learn, love—live. Someday they are supposed to “lay their parents to rest,” not the other way around. Every father and mother carries that timetable deep in their heart, and when a child dies there is no capacity to fit in such a reversal. It is not the way life is supposed to be. It is wrong. Hopes, dreams, plans, and joys lie shattered with no hope of revival. They are ended.
But when Christians experience such tragedies, they are in a different place than others. On the one hand there is usually the strong assurance of their young one’s being safe in the arms of Jesus. But that is not where they want their child. They want their child in their own arms. Still, there is profound comfort in Jesus’ promise. This comfort is more of a valued belief than a true anesthesia for parents’ broken hearts. The pain is not lessened. It will never be gone...
Leaving Healing to God
...My observations are limited, but the truth seems to be that most who lose a child survive, regain their strength and spirit, and live again as productive and even life-enjoying people. The pain never goes away. The loss is always felt, but a meaningful life can go on. That, I believe is the healing of God. God does restore the crushed, but the pain endures forever.
I AM a survivor. Yes my life has gone on but I WILL NEVER forget the children that I have lost. The pain is still there. Their loss is always felt. But God is SO good because He has brought healing into my life through Buggy!!! Buggy has given me a reason to push forward. Everything I do is for Buggy (and my hubby too). YES God is SO good!!!
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18