Yesterday was my third non-stress test and again Buggy passed (maybe not with flying colors...that naughty Bug) but he/she definitely passed. Buggy was pretty quiet (yesterday) but Dr. J and my nurse reassured me that at my stage of pregnancy that this is very normal. They also both told me that Buggy passed because he/she had plenty of heart rate accelerations and deceleration's with his/her movement...this is what they monitor with a non-stress test. On a normal day Buggy is typically pretty quiet in the morning and during the day but very active in the evenings and most of the time he/she is very active throughout the night too. But I just wish Buggy would ALL THE TIME. And then go figure last night (during the night) Buggy was super quiet so as you can all imagine I laid awake for a good portion of the night just waiting for movement. Oh boy am I ever ready for Buggy to just be in my arms. Praying that Dr. J will induce me at 38 weeks (please, please, please) but I AM very thankful to know that no matter what I WILL BE induced at 39 weeks.
So many people have told me that once Buggy is born that I will miss his/her movement but to be very honest I JUST WANT BUGGY SAFE AND SOUND IN MY ARMS. Every day my thoughts are consumed with movement. I am always thinking have I felt movement lately? Was that just Buggy moving? I don't think I've felt movement...que freaking out. I am always making sure that I have orange juice stocked in the fridge. Snacking and laying on my side...just waiting for movement. Now I will say that I am not so anal every day...some days are better than others but I'm just so sick of being consumed with movement. Before losing the girls I wanted 4 kids (that is 4 living children)...now some days I think I'll be lucky to make it through just one more pregnancy.
Since I've been a little more stressed/anxious about movement these past few days...my devotions from Wednesday couldn't have come at a better time...
SIT QUIETLY WITH ME, letting all your fears and worries bubble up to the surface of your consciousness. There, in the Light of My Presence, the bubbles pop and disappear. However, some fears surface over and over again, especially fear of the future. You tend to project yourself mentally into the next day, week, month, year, decade; and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times. What you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn't include Me. Those gloomy times that you imagine will not come to pass, since My Presence will be with you at all times.
When a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence into that mental image. Say to yourself, "Jesus will be with me then and there. With His help, I can cope!" Then, come home to the present moment, where you can enjoy Peace in My Presence. (Jesus Calling)
The rest of the appointment went well. No protein in my urine. Yea for not having to get weighed twice in one week!!! And my blood pressure was 134/72. Next appointment is this coming Monday. Only 5 and a half to 6 and a half weeks to go!!!
Boulder Ridge Zoo
2 weeks ago