Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Few Thoughts...

  • My mom told me last week that she was glad I was back. I asked her what she meant by that and she said...You're YOU again. You're happy again!!! And to be very honest I AM happy again and its all because of my sweet (RAINBOW) miracle boy...Mason Dale!!! The moment (and I mean THE moment) that I laid eyes on my beautiful baby BOY the thick cloud of anxiety that had consumed me for the last 10 months instantly vanished. Oh its good to be ME again!!!
  • A few people have asked me (since Mason's birth) if having him here has made me think about/miss the girls. And to be honest I try not to think about my beautiful little angels because I don't want to be sad. I want to be happy!!! And boy oh boy does Mason ever make me happy. He has brought a healing to my heart that I never thought possible. Being a mom is everything I've dreamed about and more. I know that every baby is a miracle but when I look at Mason I am just in awe at what God orchestrated to get him here.
  • I miss my girls but bottom line is this...if they were here...Mason would not be (and maybe never would have been. It takes the perfect month and the perfect cycle). The thing I always remind myself is that I will have all my children with me in Heaven...and what a day it will be when all my children (and mommy and daddy too) are reunited...yes what a day it will be!!! 
  • And one final thought that I wanted to share (and this thought has been very heavy on my heart). If we had had the girls and Luke and his twin...we would have been done. We would have paid to keep the last 4 embryos frozen forever. And you all know what this would have meant...Mason would have been frozen forever. The thought of this brings tears to my eyes. I cannot imagine Mason being "stored away" forever. It just goes to show that God's plan is always (WAY) better than ours. And that sometimes it just takes a few months or years to understand this. And you know what else I would never ever change our story because everything that we went through led us to our little Miracle Man Mason. So yes I WOULD endure all of the pain and suffering (again) just to get to him.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

5 comments:

  1. Such a happy post. I remember when people told me that it was nice to have me back as well. It kind of bothered me. I reminded them that I might be back, but I was forever changed by what I experienced. Just because I was extremely happy now didn't mean that I forgot everything I experienced. But, it is definitely nice to feel true happiness again and to put on a smile that isn't fake at all!

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  2. You said it girl. Tears in my eyes thinking about if Mason wasn't here. I look at Meg and think the same thing, and while we of course wanted them all here, we know that the joyous reunion in Heaven will be forever.

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  3. So happy for you Lindsey! Cute picture of Mason, love the quilt, who made it?

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  4. I was just thinking the other day that I finally feel like myself again. It is so nice to feel happy again. Happy for you, and I love that picture of Mason!

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  5. So very happy for you Lindsey! He is such a miracle and such a handsome little man! Love you!

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