Monday, February 13, 2012

February the 13th...

will always hold a special place in my heart. And this is why...exactly 2 years ago these two little embabies changed my life forever...

Wow. Two years. It's hard for me to believe that it really has been two years since I was implanted with my precious baby girls. I found the quote below on someone's Facebook page and I thought it so very fitting...

Isn't this the truth. I had 105 minutes with Alayna and 75 minutes with Ella. But I have had (approximately) 14,196 hours (or 851,760 minutes) to spend thinking of them.

The other day at counseling I was telling my counselor how just the other week Mason had had his first play date. It was a boys only play date because my friends only have little boys! But a comment was said that made me a little sad. I KNOW this friend meant no harm so I just shook the comment off and changed the subject. But the comment was this..."I wonder who is going to have the first girl in the group." I wanted to say that I already did. But like I said I didn't want to make a fuss so I just left it be. My counselor said..."its just my mom instinct wanting them to be recognized and remembered." But I know just because I live every single day knowing that I lost two precious little girls...doesn't mean everyone else does too.

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. 
I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. 
I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.

All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. 
Your memory is a keepsake, from which I'll never part. 
God has you in His arms. I have you in my heart.

(Author Unknown)


  1. I think it is sweet that Mason's middle name includes all three initials of his sisters and brother A L E... I guess the D could stand for darlings :)

  2. Never noticed that...but how true!!! Thanks for pointing that out. And here I thought he was just named after his daddy, papa, and grandpa.

  3. Beautiful post and oh so true. Love that quote, especially as we approach Jay and Morgan's 2nd birthday in Heaven. What fun those four are having!

  4. Oh, that is so hard. Unless you have been through it, or watched a close friend go through it, I think it is hard to understand the depth and strength of those "mom feelings of wanting your kids to be remembered and validated". Regardless, it still stings.

    I am sure it was the same when you were going trhough it. Some people don't mention it because they don't want to make you upset....thinking they don't want to bring up a subject that makes you sad. Not knowing that you are already thinking about them always, and them validating their lives makes it better, not worse.

    Excited to see pix from Masons wonderful day!