Waiting…waiting…waiting…and waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive. With my last fresh cycle my period started on CD (cycle day) 10. I guess you could say I kinda thought it would come again on CD 10. Well it didn’t. Nor did it come on CD 11, 12, or 13. And I had no indication that it would be coming on CD 14 either. Protocol is if your cycle hasn't started by CD 14 then you need to call the office. I was a little impatient and called on CD 13 however and scheduled a ultrasound for CD 14.
Just before going in for my (screening) ultrasound I had a touch of spotting…which for me means that my cycle will start the next day (yea)!!! Ultrasound looked good so I am a GO for IVF 2.0.
Cycle finally started. I have NEVER wished for it more!!!
Here goes nothing. Tonight is the start of Gonal F and Menopur…with the continuation of Lupron (decreased to 5 units). Yea for THREE shots a night. My abdomen is loving me. And OUCH… don't remember the Menopur stinging so stinkin much…
Had my first monitoring ultrasound plus estrogen level draw today. Everything is looking good thus far…although I am a bit of an over achiever on the egg producing part!!! My left ovary has 20 plus follicles and my right has around 15. The right side’s biggest follicle is measuring 6mm and the left side’s biggest follicle is measuring around 5mm. Needless to say Dodds is decreasing my Gonal-f dose. Funny thing is…I was already on a lower dose than my last fresh cycle. Last time I started off on 225 units. This time around I started on 150 units…and now I am down to 112.5 units. Praying this change makes just a few of the follicles increase in size…while keeping the others small.
Man these meds are doing a number on me this time around. (Although my sister and mom tell me I was like this last time too.) Feeling kinda depressed. Feeling really blah. Tired (all the time). I can cry at the drop of a hat. I get angry/upset/frustrated easily and quickly. The list could go on. Currently I am feeling bad for myself and frustrated that we have to do IVF. I hate all the meds and decisions. And to top it off (as of yesterday) I now know of three acquaintances all pregnant with twin GIRLS. Makes me want to cry. Why do they get their precious (twin) daughters and not me. It hurts. It stings. It makes me really sad. It makes me miss my girls and all the “what ifs” and “coulda beens.”
And then this afternoon I had a little breakdown. Stuffed up nose…can’t breathe…eyes swollen kind of breakdown. IVF 2.0 has taken quite the emotional toll on me. And to be honest the biggest thing on my mind is the question of how many embryos to implant. I want to do two but Brian only wants to do one. I feel like if we do two and get pregnant with both Brian will be upset with me. (Mind you there is only a 15-20% chance that we would even get pregnant with twins). And if we implant one and it doesn't take then I am going to be heartbroken. Praying that God will give us an answer. And I am trusting that He will.
Monitoring ultrasound and blood draw (#2) happened today. Everything is still on track. Follies are measuring between 10 and 12mm. Lining nice and thick!!! One of my favorite nurses did my ultrasound today and we had a heart to heart talk about the one versus two embryo decision. She made me feel better about our (my) decision of implanting two embryos. So thankful for such a WONDERFUL fertility office. And Gonal-f dose decreased to 75 units.
Monitoring ultrasound and blood draw (#3) happened today. Once again everything is still on track. (Big) follies are measuring between 12 and 15mm. Lining still nice and thick. Sounds like trigger will be happening either Monday or Tuesday night which means either a Wednesday retrieval and Friday transfer or a Thursday retrieval and Saturday transfer. Getting so close.
As I was sitting with my nurse Amy after the ultrasound she said that she would call me back with any changes after she talked to the doctor. I asked her who was on today (it was Saturday and only one doctor is "ON" on the weekend) and she said Dodds. I said oh good. (Because its nice when your own doctor is the one making the decisions). But then I said so that means Young will be doing my transfer next weekend. She said yes and I preceded to tell her how I use to not “trust” Young. Dodds did my first transfer (the girls) and then my next transfer was with Young. It failed. When I found out that Young would be doing my third transfer I freaked out but Sandy (my nurse) said that he was just as qualified. Well fortunately for him =) he did in fact get me pregnant that round. Although unfortunately it ended in miscarriage. But my man Young did get me pregnant with my Mason so he is and always will be an A+ physician in my book. And just for the record Dodds successfully transferred me last go around.
Amy was chuckling as I told my story and was telling me how Dr. Plante (the Embryologist) tracks Dodds and Young’s transfers and how the docs make it a competition to be the best. (Dr. Plante actually tracks their transfers to make sure that one of them isn't having an “issue” with transfers. Amy added just so you know…they are neck and neck!!! Love it!!!
Monitoring ultrasound and blood draw (#4) happened today (with Dodds). They typically try and get you with your doctor on the last ultrasound before retrieval/implantation. Lining measuring 12mm (which is excellent) and my follies have continued to increase in size. The big ones are now measuring between 14 and 18mm. Dodds wants me to come back in tomorrow for one last ultrasound. Retrieval will (according to Dodds) be either Thursday or Friday. The only change is a decrease in my gonal-F (to 37.5 units).
Fifth and final monitoring ultrasound today!!! Lining hasn't changed. And the (big) follies are now measuring between 16 and 22mm. My nurse said she would call to let me know retrieval day after getting my estradiol level back and talking to Dodds.
*Let me stop here a second and say that up until this ultrasound all my ultrasounds were on my days OFF. What a blessing. Definitely helped in the stress department!!! Thankfully I found a coworker with absolute ease to stay late for me today. And let me also note here how grateful I am for my mother and my in-law’s (and my dad but he works full-time yet) for watching Mason so Brian could stay at work and so I could get to each of my appointments. We are blessed beyond measure to have such wonderful parents!!!*
And then just a little story. As I was waiting in the consult room for Sandy (my nurse) to meet with me after my ultrasound…Dr. Young (Dodds partner) walked by. He was headed into another consult room with another couple but stopped to say hi. I said hi back and then added…looking forward to seeing you this weekend. He laughed and said well I've had two weekends off so I might be a little rusty. I chuckled. Love his humor. Back in the day a comment like that would have freaked me out. But now that I know how awesome both Dodds and Young are it makes me chuckle. Again thankful to have such amazing physicians by my side!!!
Got a phone call at work later this afternoon and trigger shot will be happening tonight with retrieval on Thursday (and transfer Saturday). Oooooooh wee…here we go!!! I am to stop my Lupron, FSH (gonal-f) and HMG (Menopur) and to trigger (with my HCG) at exactly 10:30pm. I am also to start taking a baby aspirin and a new (to me) medication called dostinex to help reduce the risk of over stimulating since I have so many follicles.
Free day!!! No shots for me today!!! And a little valium before bed to help me sleep =)
Goodbye 2nd Grade, Goodbye Kindergarten
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