Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Journey To (Earthly) Baby #2: The 2WW

April 15
Brian and I are very fortunate to have such amazing, supportive, and helpful parents. Brian was with Mase (and I) the last two days (except when my mom took care of Mason for transfer). Then today (and tomorrow) my mother-in-law came over to watch Mase while Brian was at work and my mom came over at night to help me get Mason to bed (Brian had a church meeting). We are going above and beyond making sure I do NOT have to lift Mason for any reason at all. Basically we have it lined up that someone will be with me (almost) all day every day until Beta day.

April 17
My mother-in-law (for the third day in a row) came over but today just to help me get Mase out of his crib, fed, and ready for the day. Then she had to go to work and Mase and I had a playdate (at my house)!!! For the last couple of days Mason hasn't really “needed” me (he was completely content being by grandma). But today he just wanted mommy. Made me feel SO loved!!! He wanted up though in the worst of ways which broke my heart but I just got down on the ground and cuddled him until he was ready to move again. This (not being able to lift my son) is BY FAR the worst part of the IVF journey. My dear friend Karie stayed a little later than the rest of the gals to help me feed Mase and put him down for a nap and then my mom came to get him out of his crib from nap time. (Thank goodness when healthy his sleep patterns are pretty predictable). Tonight we went out on a family date night…Brann’s Steakhouse and Costco!!! (This was my second outing since transfer…the first being yesterday when I headed into work for some work meetings in the evening).

April 18
Brian worked from home this morning so he was able to get Mase out of his crib…into his highchair (for lunch and breakfast)…and back into his crib for naptime. I am so thankful for the type of job he has that he can do this. And then my father-in-law was gracious enough to hang out at our house (while Mase napped) so I could meet my friend Jen for lunch.

On “the symptom front“…not feeling much different than I did after any of my other transfers (which I consider to be a good thing). Again super bloated but with this cycle being a fresh that is obviously expected. My back aches if I’ve been on my feet too long. And feeling a little tired. Praying that I am pregnant because I am ready for a fertility break.

April 19-20
Two days of blissful work. Both suppose to be 12 hours. Ugh. But I got lucky and was sent home early on Saturday (only had to work 8 hours)!!!

April 21
Something else to add to “the symptom front” is cramping. I was on and off crampy Wednesday through yesterday (Saturday). Hoping this is a good thing.

Today at Church I almost started crying. Maybe its just because I am super hormonal but when the congregation started singing Blessed Be Your Name I started tearing up. You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say. Lord, blessed be Your name. LOVE this song.

In the last few weeks God has been working on my heart. God gave me Brian and then he gave me Mason. He took away Alayna, Ella, Luke, and Blake. But blessed be His name. During this whole fertility journey I kept “telling” God what I wanted. I wanted at least three children and I would love at least two girls because I would love a daughter to have a sister. But I am done. I am tired. I am sick of the stress. I am ready to “move” on with my life. Enjoy life. With that being said. I am okay if I never have an earthly daughter. I am okay if I only have two children. And I am okay if Mason is my only child. Yes I pray that I am pregnant right now and if not that at least one of my last two embryos will take. But if God’s plan is for Mason to be my only Earthly child then I am okay with that. I am blessed to have him. More than blessed. My prayers have changed from telling God what I want to praying that my desires meet His will.

April 22
Another 12 hours of fun today. But maybe it was a good distraction for me since tomorrow is BETA day. Praying that a little miracle (or two) is/are growing big and strong and healthy inside me as I type!!!

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